TL; DR          During a weekend study break, which I had intended to be 5-10 minutes but it turned into half an hour, I played Robot Unicorn Attack… And found the newest version of the game, which promptly BLEW MY MIND.

I’m sure everyone is expecting an insightful blog post like the past two entries but I really did not have the time this weekend due to studying for an exam and starting a new job. I know I shouldn’t be stressed out but I have really got to make an ‘A’ on this exam. It’s only the second one of the semester, but I still want my ‘A’. During a small study break I took yesterday, which ended up being an hour and a half instead of the intended 5-10 minutes, I had a sudden urge to play Robot Unicorn Attack.

Click the picture above to play!!

Now, I’ve played this game before and suddenly had an itch to play it again yesterday. If you have not played this game; GO PLAY IT NOW KKTHX. The entire game can easily be explained by this simple picture:

I know this sounds stupid but this is hands-down the MOST ADDICTIVE game I have EVER PLAYED. You start kinda humming the music as you play, cursing and screaming as you accidently misjudge a jump and then burst into flames, yes; BURST INTO FLAMES, when you hit a wall or Star. And then you find yourself SINGING ALONG. It’s like the most insane thing. The concept of the game is so simple yet so amazing at the same time. Push ‘Z’ to jump and ‘X’ to do a dash, which you use to rocket-rainbow blast through the stars that block your way while collecting butterfly fairies which will exponentially increase your score as you collect them without missing any. Two buttons to play the game, with a little collecting involved. Sounds easy right? Wrong. O.o The speed of the game increases as your score increases so it because more and more difficult to judge jumps and dash through stars. Also, you’ll see little cute dolphins along the bottom of the screen, I believe for every 5000 added to your score; but you can’t look at them. If you look away, you risk running into a wall or a start or just straight running off of a cliff. This game requires a massive amount of twitch reaction to get the jumps and the dashes just right.

If fairies and rainbows are not your thing, perhaps you would enjoy the Metal Version. Oh yeah, the METAL VERSION. I rocked out so hard to this version and the song is just one of my favorites. I think it’s like, glam rock or whatever they call it (someone clarify please!!).

Click the picture to play!

The metal version is the same thing; jump and dash through the stars. But this is “a world of darkness, where rainbows are replaced by fire and brimstone” (Adultswim) The stars are now pentagrams, the fairies are little imp things, and the dolphins are replaced by screeching Hell fish; and the screeching sound is actually somewhat distracting but goes along SO WELL with the music. I actually score HIGHER on this version than I ever did on the original. I think my highest score on this one was like 60,000 or something which, I know, is not impressive because there are people who somehow manage to score in the millions.

Now, there is a Christmas version that is available for play on Adultswim and is also the first version available for the iPhone but I’ve only played it a few times and couldn’t really get into due to the music. I just wasn’t really feeling it, but it IS super cute that the unicorn is now a reindeer and wears a sweater.

Click picture to play!

This version has the same idea as the first two; jump, collect presents, and dash through snowflakes. While not as great as the first two, in my opinion, it is a great way to get into the spirit of the Holidays anytime during the year. <(^.^)> Now, the main reason why I decide to share these with you, Robot Unicorn Attack: EVOLUTION. During the study break that I had mentioned, I did play the Original and Heavy Metal Versions, but then I saw the following under New/Recommended games.


I was like, “OMG! A NEW ONE?! I gotta play this!” Well, I did and OMG I wish I had been recording my reactions because it was hilarious. Same gameplay as the original but this time, with every four stars that your dash through without missing any, you EVOLVE. The first time it happens, you turn into a panda. My reaction; “HOLY F$$$ING SH$T I’M A PANDA!!”; which was immediately followed by me bursting into flames as I hit a wall because I became incredibly distracted with the thought of flying through the air as a panda with a rainbow coming out of its butt. So yeah… But anyway, you have to keep the star combo going because if you miss any, you turn back into a unicorn and have to work your way up again. But it gets better. As you go through the different evolutions, the stages change and they are so pretty! You change from Unicorn, to a Panda, to a Wolf, to a Gorilla, a Saber-toothed Tiger, and finally, a DRAGON (which I haven’t seen yet and cannot find any screenshots of it either /POUT).

The only downside to playing the newest version right now, you have to be logged into Facebook because it’s not actually on adultswim.com at this time. /BOO! Needless to say, this newest version will be taking up QUITE a bit of time my after my exam on Wednesday. I just want to leave everyone with, quite possibly the most awesome picture that I found while searching for pictures for this post:

Perhaps the next version of Robot Unicorn Attack will have Robocop? Yes please!!!


One comment on “HOLY F$$$ING SH$T I’M A PANDA!

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